Each year, June marks a special time for LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly in the US and across parts of Europe, as early summer Gay Pride parades and celebrations have become part of the annual calendars of most major cities.

But looking back just 50 years to the first Pride Parade in New York, or “Christopher Street Liberation Day” as it was then known, should cause us to reflect not only on how far we’ve come, but possibly also on how limited this progress may be, particularly for certain groups within, and without, the LGBTQ+ community.

I used to have this small tradition of bringing a few LGBTQ+ founders and entrepreneurs together this time each year, generally in San Francisco or New York. But given the new reality of 2020, I found myself like everyone else, stuck indoors and socially distanced. So instead for this year, I decided to speak with a few founders in the community, to learn about their experiences over the past few decades and how they view the progress and change we’ve achieved.

The Shock Factor

I recall one particular story from a friend of mine in NYC: as a black man, he says, he cannot recount how many times people look surprised when he tells them he went to Harvard Law School. “I don’t think they mean to be disrespectful, but that look and automatic reaction: ‘Harvard, really?!’ just gives it all away. And that’s because they can see I’m black. Imagine telling them I’m gay too.” 

It’s 2020, and like it or not, we’ve still got some deeply ingrained prejudice.

That said, being a gay founder or entrepreneur in 2020, particularly in major cities like San Francisco, LA, New York or London might have lost its shock factor. According to most of the founders I spoke with, that may generally be attributed to a few considerations: political progress (particularly since the US Supreme Court’s 2015 marriage equality decision and the 2020 ruling concerning employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity); cultural progress and depictions of gay characters in movies and mass media; and the emergence of LGBTQ+ role models in various spheres: Tim Cook, Sam Altman, Arlan Hamilton, Anderson Cooper, Don Lemon, Ellen DeGeneres, Leo Varadkar or Pete Buttigieg, to name but a few.

However, as many also pointed out, there’s a certain “hetero-normalization” that still seems to be expected. Thus, being white, male and gay might be very easily accepted – for two possible reasons: the cultural shift, or the fact that hiding one’s sexual orientation is very doable: most gay, lesbian or bisexual individuals have probably hidden, or at least not disclosed, their sexual orientation on more than one occasion. But what about trans individuals, LGBTQ+ people of color, or straight and LGBTQ+ women?

A recent piece by McKinsey paints a rather disturbing picture of the current US workplace environment. Over 70% of straight women and LGTBQ+ employees reported facing microaggressions in the workplace. Straight and LGBTQ+ women also experienced sexual harassment or were subjected to inappropriate jokes and comments at much higher rates than straight and LGBTQ+ men.

Gender disparity clearly remains an issue. Add race into the mix, and the story gets even more complicated. Several studies have been published around unconscious biases in hiring for instance – seeing a foreign, ethnic or woman’s name on a resume triggers automatic (and usually unintentional) reactions. This same issue also carries over to founders and entrepreneurs, and their experiences with clients, investors, business networks and their early employees and teams.

Jason, a black LGBTQ+ founder and executive at Google, for example, said he can recall several occasions where people (consciously or unconsciously) flashed a look of surprise when he walked into college classes, and later investor meetings. In his words, “I could easily not talk about being gay; but being black is something people see immediately and often see first.”

Irma Mesa, a founder in Indianapolis, echoed similar sentiments: for her, being Latina, a woman and gay just makes it feel like she’s got three sets of prejudices to overcome. Finding like-minded individuals with whom she can share experiences, concerns and feel part of a community with similar goals and objectives is not that easy – partly due to the smaller network in Indianapolis, but also since most LGBTQ+ tech groups tend to be dominated by gay white or Asian men. In fact, Irma says groups like Lesbians Who Tech are opening up more opportunities for founders and entrepreneurs of different backgrounds, and with different experiences and helping to create a broader support system.

Role Models 

As a gay founder myself, I never really considered my role within the team or my own company. In fact, for several years many of my colleagues were unaware of my sexual orientation – it just wasn’t something I felt I needed to discuss, so much so that some were surprised when I even mentioned it. Looking back now, I realize this was a missed opportunity to be a better and more authentic leader, and to allow others on my team the chance to feel more represented or welcome to speak out.

David, an Irish LGBTQ+ founder expressed how grateful he was for having been exposed to various LGBTQ+ role models (and groups) during his college years. Growing up in a small town outside Belfast, he did not often encounter LGBTQ+ people and culture growing up. But upon entering Cambridge, he was suddenly immersed in a culture that embraced LGBTQ+ diversity and allowed him to discover himself and flourish. That support is something he consciously brings to the table within his own startup.

On the other hand, Gordon, another LGBTQ+ founder, discovered he lacked the support and role models during college, making his coming out experience problematic. However, he’s now based in San Francisco and is first to admit that he feels privileged there, particularly since he fits a certain mold that the city and the investor and startup communities are now comfortable with.

Thus having role models, particularly ones we can connect with directly within our own networks, rather than simply see in the media, makes a huge difference. Those same role models may allow others to feel more comfortable at work or within their teams – rather than to feel isolated – and to express themselves more openly and freely. 

Lorenzo Thione, one of the founders at StartOut, says this has always been a key goal for the organization – allowing LGBTQ+ individuals to connect, but to also stand out as role models for others and future generations of business leaders. StartOut has also been keen to engage members in diverse communities, whether through partnerships with other organizations or through events and programs focused around bringing under-represented groups together.

On the flip side, a number of individuals I spoke with mentioned the added responsibilities of being held up as a role model. Some half-seriously joked about being asked to vet products, statements or press-releases to ensure they were “inclusive”, especially in the current racially and politically charged environment in the USA.  Others spoke about being held to higher standards, because they were (knowingly or unknowingly) representing generally under-represented groups. And while most of the founders and entrepreneurs I spoke with embraced these added responsibilities, they also admitted the added burden of potentially failing to fulfill these unwritten expectations. 

Being Gay is Still Illegal

One thing I was clearly reminded of while interviewing people for this article is that, despite the real need for further progress here in the US, in Europe, and around the world, there are nevertheless several places where even basic rights for LGBTQ+ individuals are still a pipe dream.

Eugene is a founder, originally from Kyrgyzstan, educated in Russia and now lives between San Francisco and London. He knows first-hand what it is like to live in a country where being gay might not be technically illegal, but could get you arrested, or worse. 

I’m sure we’ve also all read news reports of the “anti-gay purges” in Chechnya, or the very recent story of Sarah Hegazi, a gay Egyptian who was arrested and tortured for waving a rainbow flag during a concert, and ended up committing suicide barely a few weeks ago.

Today, in 2020, some 68 countries criminalize homosexuality, and almost a dozen carry the death penalty for same-sex activity. 

Our Responsibilities

I will admit that when I started writing this piece, I was uncertain of where it would lead, particularly given the recent Black Lives Matters protests, and the current political climate in the US. However, speaking with these LGBTQ+ founders and business leaders, I realized there are a few conclusions to be drawn. 

Firstly, while we cannot deny the progress that has been made over the past 50 years, not everyone has benefited equally from this progress. We therefore cannot become complacent and must remember that it took several communities to help us get here today. And unless we continue to support each other, not only will fail to progress any further, but we risk losing what we have gained.  So whether it’s supporting women’s rights, Black, Asian, Native American, Latinx, Muslim groups, equality for all, Immigrant rights, and other under-represented minorites, we will not be able to move forward unless we do so together. 

Secondly, as LGBTQ+ founders, and business leaders, we have an added responsibility, whether we like it or not. We can directly impact our teams, our companies, and ensure we are taking positive action to encourage diversity, make everyone in the team feel included, and proactively hire and support all groups within our organizations. We certainly aren’t going to change the world at once, but change starts from within. Investing in these goals is more than the right thing to do societally, it is good for business – there is a large body of research demonstrating that diverse groups are better at decision-making, creativity, and avoid systemic problems like confirmation bias.

Finally, within the LGBTQ+ community, we seem to have achieved a lot for the “G” – but let us not forget our siblings in the L, B, T, Q and +. In fact, I daresay that gay white men, myself included, have an added responsibility to ensure we use whatever means at our disposal to keep the movement going. We are barely at base camp, and there’s an Everest of progress still to climb.

My sincere thanks to Irma Mesa, Jason Scott, Rhys Ryan, David Mack, Lorenzo Thione, Eugene Nadyrshin, Gordon Wilson, Christopher Atwood, Wesley Wade, Christopher Kim and Zackary Lyons for the contributions and edits to this article.

"How the LGBTQ+ community fares in the workplace", https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/how-the-lgbtq-plus-community-fares-in-the-workplace?cid=other-eml-alt-mip-mck&hlkid=3f11b53504804d9997eb604addbde9d0&hctky=9242296&hdpid=90bd1915-37b6-4c9d-bebd-0b8a1c60a984